Friday, 25 January 2013

Well Then

Well Then.

It looks like this is it.  Locks changed. Bags on the doorstep. No Way Back.

Whatever happened to...

"I'll always love you no matter what." Under an oak tree in Finsbury Park, sheltering from the rain storm. Shivering despite the warmth of your body. The sincerity of your blue-eyed gaze the only surety I needed.

"No-one, but  NO-ONE has EVER understood me the way you do." August; roof top. The pinky-blue sky still shimmering from the heat of the day. Talking, talking, talking. Telling each other things we'd never told anyone else. Leading to the moment, the breakthrough, the  point of no return.

"I want to grow old with you." The day I moved in, pulling my battered black suitcase behind me. You laughed at it's antiquity, picked me up and carried me over the threshold. I felt safe, held. I knew then, you'd never let me down.

I don't know how it happened. Truly I don't. I thought we were happy. That you loved me. Clearly I missed something important, something obvious. Like one of those frogs, who don't notice the water is boiling until it's too late.

So now, I am locked out. I can see you through the window back to me, ignoring my texts. My rickety suitcase sits in front of our blue door. Or to be more precise, YOUR blue door. There is no "our" any more. You've made that abundantly clear.

Well then. If this is the situation. What is to be done?

I look at the suitcase. I look at the window. I extend the handle, pick it up, and swing.


Ray Hoskins said...

Good to see you pick up the pen again.

Sulci Collective said...

Heart rending but so resonant.

The magpie in me furnishes the Buzzcocks' song "What Ever Happened To" and Lenin's "What Is To Be Done" to where these phrases occur in the text and I rather like that duality!

marc nash

Cindy Vaskova said...

I am glad to be reading these aching words of disappointment, these questions left hanging, unanswered, only the reminiscence of days bygone bittersweet for the readers heartbreaking amusement.

The suitcase and away she goes, but here you are, a Friday flash beautifuly written. Tis why I'm glad.

Virginia Moffatt said...

Thanks folks...It has been a while, doing other things, Ray, but always good to be back at Friday Flash! That's so interesting you found song titles Marc, I don't know either but I like the connection. Thanks Cindy that's the effect I was after.

John Wiswell said...

How come it's only in these moments we want to question and confront those things? All those opportunities, blown away.

Icy Sedgwick said...

In my head, she swung the suitcase at the window.

Funny how people don't talk until it's too late.

Liana Mir said...

Oh, I love that ending and the whole texture of this. Beautifully done.

mazzz_in_Leeds said...

apologies for my tardiness in visiting!

Yes, what John said. We sit in silence, unhappy, until it's too late.

Always a pleasure to catch up with you on fridayflash!

J. M. Strother said...

Quite poignant, and very well written. The imagery of her (him?) standing on the other side of the door, ignoring the texts is so vivid.

Peter Newman said...

I like the frog analogy. Also the narrator's sense of bewilderment rang true. Good one!