Friday, 13 May 2011

Breakfast News #fridayflash

Gotcha!
1st May 2011 8:31am

RESULT. Go SEALS go.  I can't believe the lefty liberal pricks on this thread bleating on about human rights. Don't you get it Obama Bin Laden KILED people. Lots of them. I thought Osama was weak, but not know GO Osama. You showed us the US NEVER gives up.

Appalled.
1st May 2011 8.32am

For God's sake what's wrong with you people? Do you really get off on celebrating death in this way? What makes those people outside the White House any different from those fundamentalists burning US flags? 
BTW Gotcha it's OSAMA Bin Laden. Obama's the president.

Gotcha!
1st May 2011 8.33am

Oh come of it Appalled. Ringing your hands about poor little Osama (no typos). The man was a fucking sycopath. He murdered thousands of people. Caused a war, and while his people lived in caves he was larging it in a millionaire's  manssion. Fucker deserved to die.

Appalled.
1st May 2011 8.34am

Where should I begin Gotcha? I'm not saying Osama was a saint. But who created him? The fucking CIA that's who. They needed him in Afghanistan and when communism collapsed they needed a new enemy. 9/11 was a TOTAL set up. There were no hijacked planes. It was the US airforce all along.

Jim sighs as he looks at the computer screen. What an idiot. He types in a response, his fingers tapping the keys in righteous indignation. Then, aware of  the rumbles in his stomach, he shouts down the stairs, "Jenny, are you doing  a fry up?"

Jenny looks up from her computer screen, appalled by the latest comment she has read. "In a minute. Let me just finish this".

She bangs out an angry response to Gotcha. Then she rises from the table and heads for the fridge. She pulls out bacon, sausages, mushrooms, tomatoes and eggs. She drips oil into the pan and starts chopping vegetables.

She knows what makes her husband happy.

11 comments:

Jane Henry said...

Oh other half. That is fab. xxx

John Wiswell said...

I can't think of another use of the message board conceit like this, Virginia. Very creative and a pleasure to read, one of my favorite twists in any #fridayflash this year. The typos, the blatant factual errors - it all clicks in with her method. I adore the psychology of this fiction.

Sulci Collective said...

Absolutely brilliant Virginia! Witty, trenchant, softening the belly rather than sharpening the blade.

Top job

Marc Nash

Virginia Moffatt said...

Thanks guys. I really enjoyed doing this. Based on a throwaway comment from my lovely husband. Glad it worked out.

PJ said...

This is beautiful! I can *almost* see this happening in my house. My hubs and I have - ahem- different political views. Well done!

flyingscribbler said...

Just brilliant. I don't say that very often. It is inventive, current, emotional and funny. The deliberate typos and flagrant ignorance work so well. If only 'You've Got Mail' packed a punch like this!

J. M. Strother said...

Wow, you got the voice of those two down pat, so much so I had to check to be sure I was not reading the comment thread of a WAPO article. Very well done.
~jon

Stephen said...

A wonderful take on marriage and the different points of view that can cause severe friction. It makes me think of the American political odd-couple: James Carville and Mary Matalin. How those two stay together with their polar differences has to be a testament to love.

An enjoyable read, Virginia.

Mike Robertson said...

Agreed. A very funny take brilliantly done, Virginia. A testament to how good it is is the fact that I persisted enough to read it at all. Light red text on light blue background doth not easy readability make.

Lou Freshwater said...

Love this. Great imaginative form, but not trying to be clever, just real.

Icy Sedgwick said...

I really enjoyed this. Really inventive way of telling a story, and putting a human face on the people behind the messageboards.