Thursday, 18 March 2010

#FridayFlash - Good Mornings.

I find, as the years pass,  my morning routine becomes ever more essential to my well being. I dislike it when my mornings are disturbed.

I am not an early riser - the preservation of beauty requires at least eight hours a night - and I need a leisurely breakfast if I am to last the day. Not that I eat much - half a grapefruit, some quinoa and a glass of pepper juice - but I like to take my time. Then a stretch, and a  look in the Mirror. The 3am girls always reassure me I'm fairest. I've never known them to let me down.

After breakfast: a bath. And then to work. Age will not wither me, but the maintenance of youth takes effort. There are eyebrows to be plucked. Grey hairs to be excised. Body parts to be moisturised. Once a week: a visit to the salon, for bleaching, botoxing, lifting shadows from eyes. At home: an hour in the gym working on  core muscles. A model stomach cannot sag even a millimetre.

I lunch alone: a sliver of grilled chicken, a mouthful of salad. I rest a little, and then prepare for the night ahead. I manicure, coiffure, choose my wardrobe, with only Rosa to help. It does not do to have an audience. It is important to be seen when all imperfection has been eradicated. I like to dazzle.

So my days pass, as they have passed for  years. Until this morning. This morning was different. Disturbing. And now I will have to act.

I had a long lie in as usual, meditating on a delightful night out. Cocktails at the Ritz. A film premiere. A nice little model to play with in the small hours. His smooth body and hard muscles proving a welcome distraction whilst Marco is away. Everything as normal until I picked up the Mirror. It took one tiny article to shatter my routine completely.

"Down at the Blue Note Club dancing the night away we bump into the ravishing Bianca Nievicata, daughter of Fashion King, Marco Nievicata, and stepdaughter of the gorgeous Catherine. She tells us her father is developing a new line for her age group. “ I’m so excited!” she gushes before rushing back to the dance floor. Where does this leave step-mum Catherine we wonder? Is she about to be supplanted as the face of Nievicata? Having met Bianca we can’t say we blame her Dad. Catherine may be good for her age but on balance we have to say, that Bianca is far and away the fairest of them all.”

No mention of my turn on the red carpet. The new Nievicata creation I wore (a stunning little piece in purple velvet). Just Bianca's pouty red lips. Her silky black hair. Her paler than pale skin. How could they let me down like this? I'd ring their editor, but it would only make things worse. Marco dotes on that child. Naturally, so do I. It wouldn't do to have that myth exposed.

Marco hasn't dared mention his latest little scheme. He must have been worrying how I'd respond.  I will have to embrace it with enthusiasm. That should be easy enough - living with Marco has always required a certain amount of deception. I'll make suggestions about the launch: venues, celebrities, refreshments. I'll do all the grunt work, get the right publicity, make it go with a bang. Then, when they're reassured they have nothing to fear, I'll phone the Huntsman. He can take care of Bianca for me. As he has done so many times before.

The preservation of beauty takes considerable effort. It's well worth it - don't you think?

* A gossip column in the Mirror newspaper for the uninitiated.


Marisa Birns said...

Ah, love this update to the Snow White story!

Very, very clever. I really enjoyed.

Cascade Lily said...

Great! I totally loved the 'model to play with' with his tight bits! And that she pretended to adore her nemisis. This is a theme I'm planning to explore in several different ways - I'm glad to see you're enjoying doing that too :)

Lou Freshwater said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lou Freshwater said...

Ha, the maintenance is great. Hard to imagine, but you illustrated it so well. Someone's got a few very rough years ahead of her....

Enjoyed, thank you. ;-)

(Sorry about the bad post, I was trying to fix a mistake not delete)

John Wiswell said...

How you entertained me through four paragraphs of breakfast, lunch and bath time, I'll never know. Kept me to the end. Good job weaving a spell.

Kim Batchelor said...

Thanks to Marisa for the reference to the Snow White re-telling. The character is, well, sad, and yet evil in her own way. She should let herself go like the rest of us. Like the story very much, and the title of your blog.

Skycycler said...

'Pepper juice' - I can't decide it this would be deliciously refreshing or disgusting!

And what a story. Ageing like this is graceless in one way or another. Catherine has grown a carapace, plumped and numbed it with toxins and fillers, and inside all that is left is a husk.

I like this - it is like a fairy story.

Ha! Just seen that you've been reading mine while I've been reading yours!

Virginia Moffatt said...

Thanks folks for all the comments.

I wrote this one a while ago in the third person. It was only when I put into 1st I felt it had some legs. Perhaps, because I rather identify with Catherine (horrible as she is). Reaching a certain time of life as my daughters are about to grow up in a big way, makes me really get the whole evil stepmother fairy tale!

mazzz in Leeds said...

oh, deliciously wicked!
Loved the Mirror/mirror thing.

Gah, you've just reminded me of this growing old malarkey... Good job I was never fairest of them all to begin with, I think I'll have a gentler ride downhill than Catherine :-)

Laura Eno said...

Love this modern Snow White story. I wonder who her seven dwarfs might be?

Virginia Moffatt said...

Thanks Mazz and Laura,

Yep growing old is a pain, but am trying to remember to be gracious.

I did have this all worked out as a complete retelling (part of a drama project) so the 7 dwarves are a cabaret act living out in Hoxton. Catherine gets Bianca by offering her a pie laced with nuts, causing Bianca anaphlyactic shock. So her glass case is the intensive care unit. Her handsome prince is the doctor who prescribes adrenaline...I quite liked it anyway...